Yes, our children are still our babes. Every day when I see another one of them pulling up to the school, driving the car while their parent is sitting in the passenger side with that look, you know that look, well it shows us that they are all growing up.
And I learned a couple of incredible lessons from them last night in the tundra of the Whitman parking lot. After a long day, doing a parade, halftime show, suffering the turmoil of phones and ipads being stolen from our lecture hall, freezing and fatigued, they put it all together and did the best show ever at Walt Whitman. That is lesson number one I learned. These kids are super resilient and absolutely amazing.
The thing is, after getting a score of 72, which clearly placed us in 7th in the state out of the 7 in our class, they were all excited, bubbly, happy and joyous. I wondered what was going on. Then.......
Lesson number 2 they taught me
As band director, we were wound up with the staff in the Whitman cafeteria, crunching the numbers, trying to figure out the judge tabulation sheet which looks like a spreadsheet for a bank's yearly report. Then on to talking to other band staffs, guessing dome judges, discussing the results, all in an attempt to get as high a number as possible for our kids in the finals. We were all discussing changes which need to be make, all of us looking for that all elusive stamp of approval from the judges, it was our typical staff setting, pretty intense.
Then, walking outside, the staff and I were greeted by a band that seems like they won the whole thing! Perhaps there was a discrepancy in the scores, and we scored higher than Norwalk and the sheets inside were wrong. That's what it seemed like, kids in our Roslyn uniforms, skipping to the busses as if they had won and had the highest scores in the show, beating all the national class bands.
I always say this funny thing, kind of making fun of the statement, not really getting the true meaning of it. My brother in law is a physical education teacher in Deer Park. One time, at some family event, when we were talking about how he taught elementary gym class for a while, while discussing dealing with competition he said: We always say, "If you had fun, You won! I thought it was funny and totally not realistic when preparing kids for "real life." I mean, sometimes it rains on your parade and you have to deal with it, dig in, cry, whatever, and get competitive to give yourself the best chance at future success. I poo pooed it.
So I say that, kind of sarcastically, never really thinking about it very much, it just sounds kind of funny and pokes fun at how we are so centered on building self esteem that sometimes we totally skirt around any kind of "winning" vs "losing." We do this all in the name of self esteem building. When we are approaching the field I usually chant it a few times. If you had fun (and some kids chant back with me immediately), "you won!" We all have a good laugh.
Then it hit me, while freezing outside, approaching our joyous band members. It is true! WOW! That thing I say, it is TRUE! Corny, but TRUE! They had fun, and that means that they won! They left the show happy, pumped, a bit cold and tired but nonetheless loving what they do and enjoying each other's friendship.
Then I brought a few of the drum majors over to me and asked, "What is going on? Why is everyone so happy/" And Nicole immediately said back to me, with Gina and Elizabeth nodding as the words left her mouth, "We were great, and we all know it, that's why we are so happy!" Wow, they did great, they know it and are totally full of "positive self-esteem."
Then something I totally forgot about came back to me, you know, one of those interactions that you have and forget until something reminds you of it. I bumped into a band director a few weeks ago and commented on how great his band was and that I wished we could march as great as his band did. He went on to tell me that he wished his band was as great as ours and could enjoy themselves like the Roslyn kids do. Wow, we are really doing something here. We have a great thing going! And our kids know it.
So you will see me smiling alot more, talking about scores alot less, and blogging about all the amazing things our kids are doing. They opened a door for me and the staff last night. They showed us what life is all about. And parents, you are amazing because you taught these kids not only how to be "Space Camp" kids (my way of fondly reminding them that they are all geniuses), but to be great, compassionate, life loving human beings. They know how to work hard, how to get it done, and how to enjoy life. Bravo to all of you!
